Great reasons to be a guy

Phone Conversations are over in 30
seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one
suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob
you blind.

You can go to the bathroom without a
support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest
act of thoughtfulness.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to
something, he or she can still be your
friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody
notices.

Everything on your face stays its
original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from
the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than
enough.

You don't have to clean if the meter
reader is coming.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You can quietly watch a game with your
buddy for hours without ever thinking:
"He must be mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add
character.

Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental -
75 bucks.

You can drop by to see a friend without
bringing a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in
the same outfit, you just might become
lifelong friends.

Your pals will never trap you
with: "So,notice anything different?"

You are not expected to know the names
of more than five colors.

You know which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in
public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years,
maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your
neck.

Gas (at either end) is cool.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one
color, all seasons.