Letting go, because you love them

Sometimes love is a test of whether we’d want the pleasure of our loved ones company, vs. we’d want for them whats important for them for their happiness. At this test of love, most choose what they’d want their lover do . I consider this a sign that they haven’t [yet] crossed over into a bond where they accept their lover as themselves, instead they still consider themselves as themselves and their lover as their lover!

Care for a loved one is in granting them their freedom to live their life according to what matters them the most, not according to what you think should:
"Love is in letting go for their happiness/growth/safety, not in our need for their companionship/agreement/compliance."

Here’s a story to illustrate this point:

Long long ago, there lived a wise, noble and fair man. People of that region considered he could solve any problem and often sought his advice. This day was unique, because instead of his advice they awaited his judgement.

Two women were brought to him who had a dispute over one baby. Each claimed the baby was theirs. At that time, there was no means to find out whose baby it was, as the government didn’t keep track of the births, their parents or had a DNA test. Children would grow up to recognize their parents, but in this case the baby was too small to even do that.

The wiseman thought for a while and said to the two women, “Let us find out whose baby it is by having a match. Each of you two hold one side each of the baby, and let there be a tug of war to pull the baby towards yourself. The one who wins would have proved their maternal love!”

So the tug-of-war began, while the people watched to know the result. The baby wailed loudly. Within a matter of moments one of the women let go of her side. Everyone knew the winner was clearly the one who now had the baby.

However, the wiseman ordered the woman who had won this tug-of-war competition to hand over the baby to its real mother. He continued, “The real mother let the baby go because she could bear the pain, suffering and unhappiness of one she loved. You didn’t feel the same way because you wanted the baby more than the baby’s happiness or safety itself – had you been the mother you’d have just know this.”

The people were once again thankful to the wiseman, for justice had prevailed.

Moral: The fact that you let go doesn’t say anything about how much you love someone. Whether it was for their benefit or for yours, instead, tells how much you love them!

Similarily, a love for humanity is demonstrated not by how you make them follow you or your revered [imaginary] leader/ideals; it is demonstrated by how you let them be by respecting their “individual freedom”. "Live and let live" is a motto that is derived from giving others their space because you care for their will and welfare. Had you wanted yours, the motto would’ve instead just been “Just let me live [no matter what I do]”. Unfortunately, a majority of us care only as far as our skin feels – to be able to live irrespective of whether others have what they themselves have, or not.